Friday, April 9, 2021

The Final Puzzle - How it all began

In the summer of 2017, I tucked my daughter in with a bedtime story I had read in my childhood.

The story is as follows:

A butcher and an oil seller both lay claim to a bag of gold coins. Local law enforcement, unable to decide who the gold belongs to, escalates the matter to Akbar's court.

Akbar was the Mughal emperor. His wise advisor Raja Birbal has a reputation for rendering justice even in the most obscure and baffling cases.

Raja Birbal hears them both, then orders a bowl of hot water.

"Empty the bag of gold coins into the bowl," says Raja Birbal.

The court waits as the bag is emptied into the hot water and a thick film of oil floats to the top.

"Padshah ( emperor), the bag belongs to the oil seller. Every time he was paid with a gold coin, it passed through his greasy fingers. The butcher is lying and should be imprisoned."


As my daughter fell asleep, I could not help but wonder if something else I had read a long time ago was true; Birbal had been deceived and killed by his enemies.

I did a quick online search, and a sentence stood out to me: "...but his body was never found."

Which prompted the question--was this brilliant man killed, or did he pull the wool over his enemies' eyes and stage a daring escape?

From this point, I asked myself several questions:

There were multiple attempts on Birbal's life, some of which are described in the comic books. He always escaped unharmed and got back at his enemies. So what changed? Did something happen before his "death" in 1586? If yes, what was the trigger?

I utilized 2 non-fiction books for most of my research:

Akbar, the great Moghul by V.A. Smith and Raja Birbal by P.P. Sinha

There were 2 attempts to kill him and 2 separate attempts to malign Raja Birbal described in the book by P.P. Sinha. The worst was an accusation of incest. These 4 events happened in the space of 3 years after Akbar defeated the Islamic clergy-backed rebels who attempted to dethrone him. 

Convinced there was enough of a loophole in the story and sufficient motivation for Birbal to go underground, I pondered: If Birbal staged his death, was Akbar in on the plan? If the 2 close friends had wanted to meet secretly, it would have been challenging to do so at home, where Birbal was popular and well-known.

They would have planned it to coincide with Akbar's move to another place, where Birbal could also live incognito.

Then I found my answer. When did Birbal die? 1586.

When did Akbar move his capital/court from near Delhi (  Fatehbad) to Lahore? 1586.

Next question: If Birbal left his family in northern Hindustan to move or be closer to Akbar, what was his relationship with his wife?

And more importantly, why did Akbar bestow the title Raja Birbal? Hint: Who was the other emperor with nine gems in his court? I will write about this in a future post.

I also utilized Ain-i-Akbari, the official chronicle of Akbar's court by one of his nine "gems" Abul Fazl. Birbal was the most well-known of Akbar's courtiers or his nine "gems."

What I enjoyed the most about researching and writing The Final Puzzle was finding answers to support my hypotheses. Imagine the excitement when you suspect something had happened, and actually find evidence for it. 

One example is a trip jointly undertaken by Raja Birbal and the main villainous character Zain Khan.

Towards the latter half of the novel, I write about the Raja of Rewa, a king who hesitated to declare fealty to Akbar. I wondered if Raja Birbal and Zain Khan had been sent there together on a diplomatic mission and if something from this trip may have enlightened Birbal about Zain Khan's weakness. This then may have been of value in the story's climax where the 2 men are pitted against each other and Zain Khan is plotting Birbal's murder.

Had I not specifically looked for proof that Akbar had sent Birbal and Zain Khan together on this mission, I would not have found it.

Five hundred years later, our society is dealing with almost all the issues The Final Puzzle explores. Religious leaders who cling on to power and mislead the masses, intelligent and good people like Raja Birbal becoming the target of jealous enemies, and above all the importance of clever and capable leaders like Akbar who can protect good people and toss out the bad ones, no matter how powerful or close to "God" they may be.

I conclude with this ever prescient saying:

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it! (George Santayana-1905)








Monday, March 29, 2021

A victim mindset abolishes humanity

 Have you ever listened to the folks in your life who are constantly complaining? How they are the ones who are doing all the work, being nice to everyone, going overboard to get things done, or even how it was their forefathers who brought glory to the land?

And now they have the short end of the stick? Statements like "I am working day and night and NO ONE cares about me."

Playing the victim is a common trait. In a workplace, it is important to differentiate a person who is being bullied from one who is a bully. The same goes for families. That one person, usually a woman who is complaining of no one respecting her and how she goes out of her way to do everything for all relatives, even the most obnoxious ones is a pain to be around.

I have made one observation. The ones who are incessantly playing victims lack empathy and humanity. They are constant in their complaining. They don't necessarily do more work than others, in fact, they often do a shabby job. The key is that these people don't feel valued. Or their perception of self-worth is greater than it really is.

It is a challenge being around these self-designated victims. The unfortunate part is that they are good at convincing others that they are being taken advantage too. This leads to a toxic gang. If our national politics are any indication, it is much easier to win over others with a sense of joint victimhood.

You cannot change others. But you can avoid getting trapped into joining that toxic gang. You can recognize a toxic person by the constant whining and lack of humanity towards others.

A victim mindset abolishes humanity. Gratitude enhances humanity.







Monday, March 22, 2021

The Sage and the Clown

 




When the world seems bleak, it all seems upside down,

The beholder's perspective separates a sage from a clown.

For a sage and a clown are both playing roles,

Wisdom's hidden, it lies in their souls.


Through words and action, they may entertain, enlighten

Sorrow within, yet others' lives they brighten.

What does each want- respect, fame, or mere necessity?

Our eyes seek out in others our own identity.


Take what you will from the sage or the clown, 

The truth behind the facade, in all mankind of renown

Remains hidden, so judge not the man by the gown

Grey-haired and divine or a garishly colored clown

Look inside yourself, your truth you must own,

Then start with a kind act in your neighborhood or town.


Picture courtesy Kerala toursim

Monday, March 8, 2021

Love Their Neighbor

Note to readers: The Wedding Gift has been removed since it was submitted for publication. However, if you would like to read it, please email contact me through this site or my FB page.


Annie John was the only person whose phone number Denise had set to a sinister ringtone. Pastor Frank had introduced them a month ago following Sunday service. Almost instantly, Denise felt uncomfortable — that same feeling as when the doctor walks into the exam room, avoids looking a patient in the eye and slumps into the chair with a sigh.

The pastor described Annie as “a good Christian woman.” Denise noticed the slight hesitation in his voice, as if he knew he was lying but was trying to convince himself otherwise. “She is a nurse, but she just lost her job. And since your mother is on hospice, Denise, I thought you two should meet.”

Pastor Frank said he hoped it was all right with Denise that he had shared information about her mother.

“Oh, I am sure she won’t mind,” Annie replied, directing her attention to the pastor. “She seems like such a nice lady. I already feel a connection with her and her mother.” 

Turning to Denise, Annie said, “I can come over to take care of your mother.”

Denise’s eyes widened, and she shifted her weight from one foot to another, wanting to accept help, but not from the woman in front of her. Annie’s tone of familiarity made Denise nervous. There is something off about this woman. Maybe time will tell, but in the meantime, I don’t think having her in my house is a good idea, she thought.  

 

“Denise, our Lord knows your troubles,” the pastor interjected. “Trust him when he sends you help.”

“But, Pastor Frank, you know that Ma can be picky. Besides, Ma’s caregiver will return in a couple of weeks, I think.”  

 

“I am sure your mom will love me,” insisted Annie. “Almost everybody who knows me does.” 

As much as she wanted to believe in God’s will, Denise did not like having a stranger foisted into her life. 

Annie grabbed Denise’s hand, pried open her palm, and thrust a business card in it before hurriedly leaving. Denise inspected the card made of quality glossy purple paper with gold foil accents. It read, “Annie John, RN, BSN, Nurse, and Entrepreneur.”

 

“I know you don’t think this is a good idea, Denise, but Annie is willing to work practically for free,” said Pastor Frank.

“I am running low on funds,” replied Denise, “but let me think about it for a couple of days.”

 

 When her doorbell rang later that evening, Denise was shocked to find Annie, who quickly stepped inside.

Without attempting to explain her presence, Annie turned to the older woman who wheeled herself into the living room.

“You must be Ma. I have heard SO much about you! We are going to get along so well,” said Annie, pulling down her mask.

“You can keep your mask off. I don’t care. I am not going to wear some stupid mask on top of my oxygen,” Ma responded.

“What happened to the election sign that was in your yard last week?” asked Annie.

“Oh, some vandals!” said Denise, who was secretly glad it was gone and politely refused to oblige her mother with a new one. Suspicion skittered through Denise’s mind. This woman does not live in our neighborhood. Why is she so familiar with our yard sign?

 

“Sign, or no sign, I am going to vote for the President come November 3rd, said Ma. “I agreed to go on for hospice only because the doctor said I would die before Election Day if I chose more chemo.”

 

“I think you are a smart woman, and you make smart choices. Would you like me to wheel you around the neighborhood?” asked Annie, positioning herself behind the wheelchair and releasing the brakes.

 

“Annie, wait, I think we should talk about your payment. I can’t afford to pay much now. Ma’s other caregiver needed two months’ salary in advance because of her family situation,” said Denise.

“Don’t worry,” replied Annie as she turned and hastily waved before steering the wheelchair, oxygen tank, and Denise’s mother out the front door and down the ramp. 

 

Denise watched Annie wheel Ma back and forth along the neighborhood sidewalk. They did not go too far, just a few houses on either side. Annie was regaling her mother with tales that Ma seemed to be enjoying. 

 

 

Ma had weighed more than three hundred pounds when diagnosed with cancer a year ago, but the disease had whittled her down to half of that. Still, it was no easy task to take her out for a wheelchair ride. The oxygen tank’s tubing had a penchant for getting tangled in the wheels or shrubs bordering the sidewalk. With Ma’s usual caregiver, a young college girl, the rides were twice weekly. The girl had tripped and fallen on the sidewalk more than once. Fortunately, Denise’s neighbor, Dr. Stephan, was a surgeon, and his wife, Carissa, an emergency medical technician. They had tended to the caregiver’s bruises and later left a first-aid box just below their mailbox in case she fell and hurt herself again.

 

Half an hour later, Ma and Annie returned. A hint of rosiness had replaced Ma’s sallow appearance. The fresh air seemed to do her some good.

“Denise, did you know about laptop story? Annie was telling me things the fake news won’t report….”

 

Denise glared at Annie. She did not want anyone aggravating Ma with ridiculous tales in the final days of her life.

 

A month went by. Ma’s liking for Annie rose as sharply as Denise’s dislike for her grew. On several occasions, Denise attempted to determine why Annie lost her job or what business ventures she had embarked upon. Annie’s answers were always vague, but they all had a theme.

“I get excluded because I am a good Christian woman who supports our President,” or “It seems these days it’s not fashionable to stand up for family values.”

Denise was able to glean that Annie was divorced and had recently dated two men she met online. Twice in the last year, she had announced she was getting married on social media. Each time she withdrew the posting days later. The first man claimed his divorce had not been finalized. The second prospective fiancĂ© was considering getting a divorce but still loved his wife and kids. He had joined the dating website just to know what was “out there.” He topped it off with, “I didn’t value what I had at home. Now I know. Thank you for saving my marriage.”

“The Bible says being a good wife is the duty of a woman, and a good Christian woman must find a husband,” was all Annie would say.

 

Later that evening, Denise called Ma’s regular caregiver, asking when she would return. Not until after the election, she was told. 

Denise’s hope that Annie could be let go immediately was crushed like a beetle under a steamroller. 

The next morning the sinister ringtone sounded. Denise shuddered, took a deep breath, then forced herself to be polite. Annie had not shown up at her usual time. Perhaps, she was running late and wanted to apologize. 

 

Hi, Denise,” Annie said, emphasizing the greeting in an annoying, smug tone. “I thought we should talk about payment. I think twenty dollars an hour is standard, so that would make it a thousand dollars for the past month. And my Google map app shows that I spent fifty hours in your neighborhood, so I have an electronic log for hours. I will come by later to pick up the cash.” 

 

“A thousand? I can’t afford that,” said Denise, stunned. “That is much more than what I was paying Ma’s regular gal.” 

“Yes, but I helped in an emergency, so my rate is higher. Did you not know that?”

“Listen, Annie, that is too much,” Denise pleaded. “Let me check with Ma to see if she can afford to pay you. She has some money saved.” 

“Okay, let me know. I have just sent you my invoice by FedEx.” 

The phone went dead, but its sinister ringtone continued to play in Denise’s head.

Denise wondered if she should talk to Pastor Frank, who might persuade Annie to be reasonable. Or perhaps she should tear up the campaign donation check Ma had asked her to mail a week ago. Caregiver expenses were the bigger priority.

 

     What if she did not pay Annie at all? Or only pay the minimum wage? They had not agreed to a rate either verbally or in writing.

 

“Was that Annie?” Ma’s voice was feeble and cracked.

 

“You look unwell, Ma. Let me call hospice.”

“Maybe I should go to the hospital. I think I have a fever. You think it could be COVID?”

Denise’s face drained of all color. She checked Ma’s forehead. There were beads of sweat, but she did not think she had a fever.

The hospice nurse was polite but strongly urged Denise not to take Ma to the hospital. 

“Even if she has COVID, they will not treat her with anything beyond supportive medicines. I guarantee you that with terminal lung cancer, she will not go on a ventilator. And if you develop symptoms, Denise, call your primary care doctor’s COVID hotline.”

 

The doorbell rang. To Denise’s surprise, it was her neighbor, Carissa, Dr. Stephan’s wife. 

“I noticed your Ma’s usual caregiver is no longer working for you, so I removed the first-aid box. Is the new woman your relative?” she asked.

When Denise clarified that Annie was no relative, Carissa appeared relieved. Before she left, Carissa checked in on Ma. She pursed her lips, and with a slight nod, acknowledged what Denise was thinking. The end was near.

 

That night Ma sunk into a stupor. Denise wiped away the droplets on Ma’s forehead with a wet compress. Gradually Ma’s lips turned blue despite dialing the oxygen to the maximum. Denise tried her best to stay awake but dozed off, only to wake up with a start, fearful that she could not hear Ma’s last words. She wanted to hold her hand when she breathed her last. 

 

Just before sunrise, Ma opened her eyes and said in a feeble voice, “Even though I will not be able to vote, I am glad you mailed my campaign donation. I love you.”

Her grip fell loose.

 

Denise sat still for an hour, perhaps two, before forcing herself to make the necessary calls. She was not going to call Annie. She was not sure if she should mail the donation check. No matter who wins, it would not make a difference with one day to go before the election. Maybe I will send it in; otherwise, I may feel guilty for the rest of my life.

 

 The sinister ringtone shattered through the unhappy stillness.

“Yes?” answered Denise.

 

“How ARE you?” 

Annie’s voice was sickeningly sweet. “Sorry, I didn’t come yesterday. Ignore what I said about the thousand dollars. You don’t need to pay me anything. You can, if you want, donate something to a charity of my choice, like women for our President. Just tear up the invoice I sent you when the courier delivers it. If anyone asks, say we are friends from church, and I was volunteering to help you.”

 

Denise hung up without answering and turned off her phone. She did not know if this woman had multiple personalities or she was a con woman or both. And she had not even asked about Ma.

 

In her apartment, Annie looked at the now-silent phone. “Well, that was rude. I do her a favor and….”

She glanced at the sheaf of papers on her dining table. This was the second time Dr. Stephan had served Annie with a restraining order. The first was four months ago after she had forcibly kissed him in the hospital operating room’s changing area. That same evening Annie showed up at his house in stilettos and heavy makeup to confirm that the kiss was real and mutual. The doctor’s wife opened the door and had choice words for her. 

It had taken Annie a couple of months to figure out how to infiltrate the doctor’s neighborhood. Five hundred dollars in donations to Pastor Frank’s church went a long way.

 

Oh well, it was worth it. Annie thrust the restraining order into the shredder.  A good Christian woman needs a husband.


Happy Women's Day


 

This morning I read an excerpt of Meghan and Harry’s interview with Oprah Winfrey. Although people in the US are expressing shock over the palace’s racist views, I was not surprised. The concept of “purity” is something I have heard since I was a little girl growing up in India. Let us be fair—the Brits didn’t leave racism behind in India when they left. They were able to conquer India because the average man deep down believes that fairer skin indicates superiority. Every Indian man, whether he is dark-skinned or not, wants a fair-skinned girl. None of her other attributes matter. “Every man” is probably an exaggeration. There are those who like Bipasha Basu.

I once knew an elderly Indian man from my home state of Kerala who was so obsessed with fair skin that he was called “Beautiful uncle.”

I am working on a collection of stories titled “Beautiful uncle” and other stories from the fictional village of Pavanadu. I hope you enjoy this collection of stories that explores racism, gender-bias, the cruelty of women towards other women, and much more in the most literate state in India—Kerala.

Stay tuned for the release date.

Tuesday, February 16, 2021

Would you stop celebrating Valentine's day? And replace it with your own special day?

 



Have you ever thought about what it would be like if you decided to take the pressure off yourself and your loved one? Not celebrate the love you share on Feb 14th but on your chosen day? Maybe the day you met, went out for a first date, or knew you had found your soulmate. Celebrate your love without the need to post it on social media or buy overpriced flowers and chocolates. 

2020 taught us that we can manage with a lot less. What are your thoughts about replacing Valentine's day with something else? And dedicate Feb 14th to planting for spring? Or picking up a new hobby to show some self-love?


Leave comments below.

I have a special gift for you. Click below to download a short story I wrote titled "Love Their Neighbor".


Click here for Love Their Neighbor

Sunday, February 14, 2021

A time gone by


It was this day a decade ago,

That my heart tumbled and fell,

Hit by a golden lightning arrow

From where it came, I couldn't tell.


An ache, a stab, a pain by any name

Ebbing and rising with time.

I learned to walk, unsteady, nay lame

The heart, healing over time


The ecstasy has faded, a soft spot remains

One question rankles: but why

did your feelings break free from their chains

For one day alone, tell me why?


You may never know where your words took me,

for I traveled back many a birth.

Finding love from a life before

When we were together on this earth.


Embracing the past is a way to heal

Skimming through life, the mind

Pauses, every now and then when it meets

someone with whom one's life is entwined.

Saturday, February 13, 2021

Writing short stories

 For a change, this year I plan to focus on short stories. I started with The Final Puzzle in 2017 and published it in 2019. In 2020, I published The Empress's Guilt, not quite a novella but longer than a short story. Both were immensely satisfying to research and write.

I am working on a couple of longer stories now. "Why did my doctor leave?" is intended to be a satire dealing with physician turnover, physician burnout, and physician suicide, problems that have yet to sink into the general public consciousness. These are problems that cannot be ignored since they affect the very safety net of society. When your healthcare providers are killing themselves, something is critically wrong. The motto "Physician heal thyself" implies that physicians are responsible for their health issues. They are not. Like most people, physicians get trapped in the system. Physician suicide and physician burnout are system issues. I am hoping my story, whether it turns out to be i.e. novel, novella etc will highlight these problems with empathy.

The second story is called "Karna's redemption". The premise of this story is this: What if Draupadi married Karna? Would Kurukshetra have happened? Was war unavoidable?

Writing provides a great outlet for me. I cannot wait to get home after work, spend some time with my daughter and then find some "me" time to write. Stephen King calls writing "self-hypnosis". I completely agree.

So this year, I have decided to write more short stories as fillers between " Karna's redemption" and "Why did my doctor leave?"

Here is a list of classic short stories I intend to read and review. Of these, I am familiar with the last 2 stories. The Ransom of Red Chief is one of the funniest stories I have read.

1. The most dangerous game

2. The Lady and the Tiger

3. The celebrated jumping frog of Calaveras county

4. The Necklace

5. The Pit and the Pendulum

6. The Fall of the House of Usher

7. The ransom of the Red Chief

8. The Gift of Magi


Other notable mentions:

The ones who walk away from Omelas


I will be emailing my short stories periodically to those who would like to read them.



Tuesday, January 26, 2021

The only conflict humans face

 The only real conflict humans face is between loyalty to the truth and loyalty to oneself. 

Mother Nature unleashes her fury only to save the truth.




When individuals knowingly support a person, a cause, a leader--religious or otherwise--despite evidence of wrongdoing, malice, or crime, they are not being loyal to that person, but to themselves.

It is a calculated move. 

"I know this person is terrible, but it will help me politically, financially, or socially to support this person," or "This person's vision of what the country will look like will benefit my children. "

It is all about oneself. 

When people choose leaders based on how the stock market will do, how it would benefit their children to ethnically cleanse the land without thought of humanity, their hollowness, and moral vacuum explodes through a sham of pretentious statements about family values.

It takes courage to stand up for what is right even if it harms you.

The vast majority of people in this world are not courageous, honest, or truthful. That is human nature.

How can we expect the truth to triumph? Only if we start with recognizing that there is a problem with ourselves and address it--as it is with all problems. We are too familiar with blaming everyone else.

The WHO warned us of a catastrophic moral failure in the context of vaccine distribution i.e younger patients in rich countries are receiving the vaccine before the more vulnerable elsewhere.

It is important to look at the moral failure that has allowed us to be where we are in the world. Whether COVID was one of the many natural disasters facing humanity or not, people are anxious everywhere. And our anxieties over an uncertain future cannot be separated from our own choices and willful ignorance of what matters.

 Just a few minutes every day. Maybe less time than one spends on social media or one's stock market portfolio. Just a few minutes loosening one's stiff and inflexible attitude towards the truth. And our self-serving choices masked in talking points.

The next time faced with a hard unpopular choice to oppose what you know is wrong, are you going to remain silent?





Friday, January 1, 2021

Happy 2021- Setting intentions despite uncertainty

 


Over the last week, I have had discussions with at least three of my friends about injustice in the greatest story ever told- the Mahabharata.

Karna is a fascinating character. The perfect man. Yet, he thirsted for glory and chose to befriend the wrong person to achieve glory. 

Would Karna have achieved success had he made friends with the Pandavas, rather than challenged them?

Look at what is happening in politics.  Like Karna, some ( millions of ) individuals are throwing their loyalty behind a person. They justify that behavior for reasons that point back to their own perceived benefit. Perceived is key here. 

 Karna's story sends a clear message: it does not matter how good you are if you throw your weight behind evil. Your virtues and skills do not matter if you support someone who feeds into your sense of being marginalized for their own selfish reasons. And even if you can see it clearly,  you choose to justify it using the word "loyalty". Loyalty to what? The truth or a person? There cannot be two truths. Just one: dharma.

Happy New Year to one and all. There are circumstances beyond our control that will shape our future, but our own choices play a role.

The picture above may seem at odds with what I have written. But it isn't. Our health and well-being are tied to making the right decisions. Scientific decisions, not emotional ones.

Here is a free gift for 2021.  Click the links below for review copies, if your New Year resolution is to read more and influence what others read.

I am reading... you guessed it...The Mahabharata 

Free review copies

More free review copies